Clay Richie

It has been brought to my attention the attack on my person by the Minister of Transport, Rotimi Amaechi, after I exposed his lies with regards to the figure of $49.8 billion which he claimed former President Goodluck Jonathan pilfered from the national treasury.

After the publication of my column last week, titled “I want to go to London… to see Buhari”, I received a lot of feedback from persons who were either amused or dead serious that they had been overlooked in my compilation of the list of persons who should go to London.

Judging by the fluidity of the official position on the health of President Muhammadu Buhari, there are three President Muhammadu Buharis currently on medical vacation in London. First is a sick Buhari. Second is a hale and hearty Buhari. And third is a resting Buhari. All of them are coequal, coexistent and powerful – like a trinity!

Presidential spokesman, Femi Adesina, could not hide his joy as he announced with unrivalled glee the phone call of Mr President to him all the way from London. Certainly, this is not the first time President Buhari and Femi Adesina would be discussing over the phone since the two tenants of Aso Rock moved to the seat of power in 2015. However, this particular phone conversation elicited an excitement, the type usually associated with primary school pupils who have found the last of a set of bottle crowns needed to claim some insignificant prizes in a soft drink promo.

 In September 2008, about 9 years ago, this writer published an article title, “If Yar’Adua Doesn’t Die!” ) It was a response to strong insinuations in the media on the plight of President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua who was alive then but some commentators were already expressing views on expectations after his likely demise.

A perfect definition of irony in the Nigerian context is when legislators break their recess to pass a bill. For the farce that passes for legislation in our part of the world, citizens should be wary of a hastily passed bill. When you then factor in the incestuous relationship between the executives and legislators in most states, the suspicion gets heightened.

“The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead” Aristotle (384-322BC). “Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with college education” Mark Twain (1835-1910)

We didn’t know post-apartheid South Africa would be like this. If anyone had foretold, 30 years ago, that black South Africans would engage in riots to kill fellow Africans and destroy their businesses, no one would have believed them. My generation is unfortunate to have witnessed this unexpected turn of events.

The health of President Muhammadu Buhari has understandably generated intense debates and controversies in the last one month or thereabout. The manner in which the issue has been handled by the presidency has also given ample opportunity for the scourge of the 21st Century — fake news and political rumors — as individuals help to fill the information gap through their fecund imagination. There is now a growing chorus for the president to resign.

Premium Times reports that due to rampant abuse and corruption, President Buhari has ordered the scrapping of special intervention funds for tertiary institutions in 2017. Special intervention funds - a discretionary palliative disbursement which allows TETFUND to address areas where a particular University may be in the intensive care unit.

Something unNigerian happened in Abuja on Thursday: protesters vandalised an MTN office in an apparent reprisal mission over the perennial xenophobic attacks on Nigerians in South Africa. MTN, being the biggest South African company in the country, is by far the easiest for reprisal. This, I suppose, was meant to send a message to South Africans that their interests in Nigeria are also at risk if they do not relent in their shameful targeting of Nigerians. It would seem Nigerians in the former apartheid enclave have committed an offence by doing well economically. When you flourish in a foreign land more than many of your hosts, envy and resentment are to be expected.

The public statement recently made by the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) detailing remarkable improvements in oil production, sales of crude oil and absence of attacks on oil and gas installations was the subject of a post on one of my social media platforms recently.

Half a century ago, Major Kaduna Nzeogwu of the January 15 coup fame sneaked into the national lexicon the term “ten percenter” to describe the size of kickback demanded by politicians and other public officers then polluting the society.

With President Muhammadu Buhari's lawyer's ₦500,000 'gift' to Justice Adeniyi Ademola while the certificate case was being tried before that judge and with the Secretary to the Government of the Federation's Grasscuttergate scandal, can we all stop pretending and accept that the anti corruption war is dead?

Fellow Nigerians, something major is happening in our dear beloved country and it is very positive. Every disappointment they say is a blessing. While we are very sad that our President, Muhammadu Buhari, has not been feeling too well for some time now and needs treatment and recuperation abroad, I now believe that God wants him to also have some time for sober and deep reflection. Someone asked me about two weeks ago, on Twitter if I have given up on the Buhari government? My answer was an emphatic NO! And the reason I gave was simple and straight-forward enough: I believe in miracles.

I believe that the frenzied quest by disaffected Igbo youth for Biafra represents, above all, an indictment of the kind of leaders who for close to twenty years have run the affairs of the southeastern states. Those agitating for Biafra often make a case that the Igbo are marginalized in the affairs of Nigeria. That may well be true, especially when the criterion is the presence and quality of Federal projects in the five southeast states. For me, however, a more critical factor has to do with the lack of imagination by the zone’s political and entrepreneurial elite.

The Peoples Democratic Party is dying of numerous self-inflicted wounds and may not recover for as long as it thinks that Ali Modu Sheriff is its deadliest poison. From the headlines, you would think that Modu Sheriff is the beginning and the end of the problems of the PDP; that once you feed him to the sharks, all would be well with the party again.

Acting President Yemi Osinbajo has been receiving deserved kudos for the way he has been holding down the fort since Buhari went on medical vacation in England on January 19, 2017. In this round as Acting President, Osinbajo seems to have brought a new style, which he had not displayed previously.

There is a saying in Yoruba Land: “Orun a re mabo.” Translation: No one comes back from the dead. Buhari may not be dead, but he might as well be - too sick to rule, too greedy to leave.

Following the two letters dated February 8 and 21 respectively by Mr. Muhammadu Buhari, it is now glaring that the president needs urgent assistance from his military counterparts, Ibrahim Gbadamosi Babaginda, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, General Abdulsalam Abubakar among others. As a matter of urgency, the ailing president needs not to be told by sending his letter of resignation from the UK any moment. Nigeria is one of the African countries where politicians are very deceitful and egocentric. If President Buhari had the people of Nigeria at heart, he should have come clean about his situation and stepped down.

Recently, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was in the province of Quebec for a townhall meeting with citizens. He has been holding townhalls across Canada. An Anglophone Quebecois woman asked him a question in English, he responded in French saying he preferred to respond in the official language of the province.

A humourous man who always introduced himself as “I am Innocent”, the late veteran journalist, Mr. Innocent Oparadike was also very humble; despite his incredible reach and network. And he had great affection for me. That was why the news of his death hit me very hard as I recall several interactions I had with him over the years.

Let the Presidency say whatever it will, those who think they love President Muhammadu Buhari more than all of us will undermine, perhaps even attempt to encumber Acting President Yemi Osinbajo at every bend.

No matter how anyone may look at it, in life, we all have to make choices. In many cases, these are tough choices. The problem, often, is not in making these choices but in our preparations to face the worst, should these choices go bad (as they many a time do). All the choices we make or do not make come with their unique consequences!

Nigeria is that such country that never shudders to exceed the sum of your imaginations in terms of how much oddity that it throws up. Indeed it appears that with the passing of each day, it gets even more emboldened and reassured to serve the citizenry with more doses of its perplexities and while at that, repeats the mistake of history as though incapable to learn from her past experiences or to take a cue from the standard practice in the Civilized World.

Lawyer and environment activist Ledum Mitee made an observation on Arise Television in Abuja yesterday that is worth the attention of Acting President Yemi Osinbajo. Mitee, an acknowledged veteran of the struggle for justice and development in the Niger Delta, pointed to a dissonance between the agenda which government unfolded last week and the demands submitted last November to President Muhammadu Buhari by the Pan- Niger Delta Forum. According to Mitee, for the issues in the Niger Delta to be resolved on the side of equity, government should “engage the people in conversations” on the basis of their demands. In other words, the government should not seek to impose an agenda on the Niger Delta. There is, perhaps, no better time for a synergy of purpose between the government and the people of Niger Delta.

There is something curious that you might have noticed. Something as strange as it is weird. And it should worry you. We don’t appear to know who ‘spoilt’ Nigeria. ‘Spoilt’ of course is the colloquial shorthand for all that ails our nation – corruption, poor leadership, stillbirth policy, diving quality of life, and gaping income inequality.

Since President Muhammadu Buhari departed Nigeria on a ‘medical vacation’ one month ago, politicians, monarchs and religious leaders have been entreating Nigerians to pray for his quick recovery and safe return. The Buhari administration has also been using the solicitation of prayers for President Buhari as a tactic to evade citizens’ demand for enlightening information on his state of health. Officialdom tells Nigerians that the Nigerian people need not know the particulars of the president’s illness. All they need to know is that he could use ‘a lot of prayers’.

I have often wondered if the folks at EFCC, including its chairman Ibrahim Magu, have bothered to examine how genuine anti-corruption crusades have been carried out successfully in other jurisdictions. I say this because all I see EFCC and Magu putting on display are evidence of their incompetence, lack of foresight, palpable ignorance of the aims, objectives, and mechanics of criminal prosecution and administration. I make this assertion fully aware that despite all the posturing of President Muhammad Buhari and the current government, the anti-crime agency does not have full independence to fight corruption without interference. Be that as it may, the body has an obligation to show competence in those areas in which it is has the green light until we can do better. With due respect, the body and its leadership have failed woefully in this task. Some recent examples will suffice.

When 15 million plus Nigerians voted for President Muhammadu Buhari in the 2015 general elections, their expectation was that he would be available to serve them 24/7/365, and that those who fielded him as their candidate had done their home work to avoid what is curiously becoming the Katsina problem in Nigerian politics. Katsina! But we have now found ourselves in a situation whereby our President is now in London, for more than one month sir, ma, and we are here, and we have an acting President, who according to everybody, including the extremists and the mischievous, and the politically partisan, is beginning to try his best, with his admirers, now praying for the worst.

Last month, the Oyo governor, Abiola Ajimobi shocked the nation. Footage of the governor speaking to students of the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) who had been grounded at home (for eight months from 13 June, 2016 due to a shutdown announced by the Rector), showed a white-hot rage: “If this how you want to talk to me,” he blasted the students for their effrontery in protesting the closure of their school. “Then do your worst. Eight months. Eight months? Is that something we have not seen before?”

I have always had my suspicion about that class-influenced submission that people who grow up in poor environments develop built-in senses of deprivation that may cause them to steal even when they live in comfortable environments as adults. Ifkleptomaniacs– compulsive thieves – steal, regardless of needs, and some people with poor origins grow up to be honest and contented, there must be some other explanations as to why people steal, other than deprivation or starvation. I also do not buy the idea that stealing is a result of depression or some mental health disorder, a notion punctured by the existence of many thieving, kleptoparasitic animals. Like any other crime or socially unacceptable behaviour, not even those who indulge in stealing can tell why they do steal.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a bulletin email from Dr Aminu Gamawa, secretary of the newly constituted “Nigerian Bar Association Legal Profession Regulation Review Committee”. According to the email, this committee had been created to review “the current regulatory objectives and the regulatory architecture of the legal profession”. This is a good idea. I like reforms: critical thinking requires continuous improvement. We have to keep asking ourselves why we do the things we do, and if is there a better way of doing these things.

On August 1, 2015, two months after President Muhammadu Buhari assumed office, I reflected on the need for a vibrant communication strategy that would best serve his mission. “I invite him to multiply his intended harvest and make his prospects and gains not only bigger than himself, but impenetrable to any negative or unpatriotic elements that may arrive after him,” I wrote in “For Buhari: A Winning Communication Strategy.”

Permit me to begin this contribution with an aside. It is only a weak, insecure, paranoid, wicked, heartless, ignorant, lawless and callous government that refuses to identify, apprehend, prosecute and hang the bloodthirsty, psychopathic and murdering Janjaweed Islamist Fulani militants and herdsmen and instead arrests an innocent and accomplished young man like Audu Maikori who simply had the courage to cry out to the world about the barbarous genocide that the people of Southern Kaduna and members of his ethnic group and religious faith are being subjected to all over the north.

Late last month, as a section of the country awaited the triumphant return of James Ibori, an ex-governor of Delta State, who was jailed, incidentally, in the UK for his egregious looting of his state’s treasury while in office, the Nigerian media landscape was abuzz with stories about the mind-boggling salaries, allowances and other perquisites of office that elected officials and state functionaries in the country enjoy.

Time is running out for Muhammadu Buhari and his administration to achieve something tangible. Had he hit the ground running, just as Donald Trump has done with his executive orders, a lot of ground would have been covered by now.

Heard the latest? The Central Bank of Nigeria has been selling the elusive dollar to some end users at 61 kobo/US$1, while the rest of us are busy buying the stuff at over N500/$1 in the parallel market. Goodness Gracious! It is time to fire Mr. Godwin Emefiele as the CBN governor. He should not only be sacked, he should be jailed. This is simply getting too much. Since President Muhammadu Buhari assumed office, Emefiele has not only conspired with himself to destroy the naira — singlehanded and cold-hearted — he has even gone to the extent of selling the almighty dollar to his cronies at 61 kobo! The information is right there on the CBN website! Emefiele must go!

Virtually all the leading newspapers in the country reported on February 14 that President Buhari spoke to Donald Trump the previous day “at the request of the American President”. Several of the reports quoted Senior Special Adviser to the President on Media and Publicity Mr Femi Adesina as saying that “President Trump encouraged President Buhari to keep the good work he is doing and also commended him for the efforts made in rescuing 24 of the Chibok girls and the strides being taken by the Nigerian military” (Punch,online February 14, 2017).

Not long ago, I paid a solidarity and fact-finding visit to the embattled leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) and Director, Radio Biafra, Nnamdi Kanu, at Kuje Medium Security Prison. I set out at down and got a cab to drive me to the place.

I have watched with amusement the hollow rituals of “comic tragedy” or tragicomedy, which the defection of politicians from one political party to another typifies. The polity has witnessed, in recent times, movements by some politicians who were, doubtless, respected leaders of their people up until their sudden volte-face and gravitation to other political parties, characteristically for obvious reasons.

Fellow Nigerians, let me warn quickly that a new circus has come to town and there is a theatre of the absurd ongoing in the city of London. The patrons are very important personalities from Nigeria who have turned the supposed illness of our dear President Muhammadu Buhari into a stage play. At the rate these medical tourists are going, Nigeria may be empty of all its fat cats as they jostle to pay obeisance lest anyone accuses them of nonchalance and of plotting against the President or wishing him dead. Yes, we can be that petty in this clime.

From Ibadan Monday came a report that should comfort long-suffering energy consumers in Nigeria. While addressing the 12th edition of the monthly meeting of stakeholders in the power sector, 3-in-1 minister, Mr. Babatunde Fashola, SAN, spoke to the heart of the big moral question DISCOs (distribution companies) have been unable to answer.

Truth is not always absolute. Sometimes, it has layers of correctness. For example, it’s a self-evident truth that Andrew Yakubu was a klpetocrat. But that’s a lower layer of truth. There is a higher and more relevant layer of truth about Andrew: He was his own country.

To many close observers, particularly the travelling public, the news of Arik Air, Nigeria’s biggest airline, being taken over by the Asset Management Corporation of Nigeria (AMCON) over the reported huge indebtedness of the airline wouldn’t come as a surprise.

Two weeks ago, the Chairman of the Senate Committee of the Federal Capital Territory, Senator Dino Melaye, made a startling revelation that shook me and many right thinking Nigerians to our foundation. At a time Nigeria is going through a daunting economic recession, it was revealed that we plan on spending the sum of N250 million to build a gatehouse for the Vice President of Nigeria.

For the past few weeks, Acting President Yemi Osinbajo has been on a fact-finding tour of the Niger Delta region with the objective of obtaining first-hand information from the people on why the region is in constant conflict with the government.

Now that the dust over the corporeal status of President Muhammadu Buhari has settled, an attempt to put it all in perspective should make good sense, I think.

One of the most frequently asked questions this week is, which Andrew? There was once an Andrew in the first coming of President Muhammadu Buhari who popularised that name.

If the former First Lady, Dame Patience Jonathan claims the billions of Naira found in her bank accounts were gifts from friends and former Group Managing Director (GMD) of Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC), Mr. Andrew Yakubu also says the $9.77 million found in his house were gifts from friends, it’s high time I changed my present circle of friends. I need friends who can offer me cash gifts in Euro, Pounds and Dollars. So, if you don’t hear from me anymore, it is because I have concluded you do not know how to give what true friends give to their friends!