HILARIOUS! Letter To Bros J (Goodluck Jonathan) By Hauwa Oshafu

Dear Mr. President, I just want beg you Bros Jonathan. I take all the gods of Nigeria beg you. I take all the gods wey people dey hide worship beg you. I take the God wey most of us dey worship openly beg you. I take the day wey dem born you take beg you. I take all the things wey you like beg you.
Bros, as I dey write this ehn, na prostrate I prostrate for you oh. I take all my heart beg you. I take my papa yam farm beg you. I use my papa cocoa plantation beg you. I take Anti Party take beg you. Shey na 2015? No worry we go dash you till 2019.
Missing $20 billion? No be craze de worry Sanusi Lamido, where him see that kind money dey
miss, no mind am Bros, we don comot our mind for that one too.
We no even want know how you take dey spend oil subsidy money Bros. Spend am anyhow, na you be Presido. Even the almost one trillion naira for security sef, we don close our eyes. Bros, if you like no do any road again, we no go ask you.
Fuel scarcity?? No worry Bros, e don tey wey we don dey use to am. We sabi buy black market. Abi people wey dey sell am dey from there get dem own chop no be we brothers? Bros, even jobs sef, no worry your head for that one. Na you send people make dem born plenty children? No worry, we sabi struggle.
Electricity? Forget dat one Bros J. How many of we grand papas use electricity? Dem no live long? We go dey manage dat one too. If we want enjoy, we go use our Gencos. Thank God say we never follow your advice say make we throw dem away.
Bros J., all these my begging ehn, na one thing I need from you. This one wey Nigerians life no come even get value reach cockroach for oyinbo land own tire me. Bros, just use all your head and mind dey see how you go take dey protect our life. We no need all those things wey we dey disturb you for. Na long throat dey do us.
Just help us make we dey safe Bros. If you fit do that one for us ehn, I go join curse anybody wey ask you how you take dey spend we money. We no want to dey waka dey fear say the next sound fit be bomb sound Bros. We no want to dey see fellow struggling Nigerians dey roast like chickens wey oyinbo say dem get bird flu.
Bros J, sebi you talk say you no get shoe? E mean say you too be one of us before before. If dem former leaders no protect you allow bomb finish you, se you for reach where you dey so so tey you no fit know how many shoes you get. God wey carry you reach there never resign oh and na Him I dey take beg you make you do everything to see say we too live oh.
I beg Bros J., no mind all these people wey say you no go continue. Just protect our life for us. Na your hand soldiers, police and all of them dey. Use them protect we the poor masses too na. No be only the big big men and women deserve to live safe. We too, na life dey our body and wetin fit make wey una dey where una dey so, we too fit reach there oh one day. But, that one na only if we live. I take God beg you Bros J., na beg I dey beg, no be strong head.
Greet mama peace, abi wetin dem call am, for me!
Hauwa Oshafu @O2sha