Doyin Okupe is a Big Fat Idiot By Bayo Oluwasanmi

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” – George Orwell

A large noise from a large man inside Aso Rock Propaganda Empire echoes across an imposing cacophony rising above all critics of President Goodluck Jonathan.

But hold your breath. Let the man introduce himself in his own modest way:

“I’m Doyin Okupe, the Big, Fat, Idiot. I’m the President Senior Special Assistant on public lies and propaganda with half my brain tied behind my back. My subject is political propaganda. My stance is distortion. My persona is Jonathan comic blow-hard.”

From a moral perspective, frankly I think Okupe is not even a political problem. He is a psychiatric problem. Remember, it’s impossible to cite all the maladies of the Jonathan administration as interpreted by Okupe – Jonathan’s brain. Here is a small sampling:

Okupe has become renowned for his penchant for the outrageous. He demonstrates the absurdity by being absurd: On the merger of opposition parties which formed APC, Okupe boasts “Call me bastard if they don’t crumble and disappear by 2014.”

He’s very obese and vulnerable-looking than he sounds when defending Jonathan. He once described Jonathan as the “Mandela of Nigeria.” “I have checked through the history of Nigeria, among our past and present leaders, the only one we can call our Mandela here in Nigeria is President Jonathan.”

The president’s spokesman who lacks casual, intimate style, sounds like he’s in a soapbox. He’s intoxicated by lies, especially those flowing from his own lips. He sounds like a real braggart. On electricity, he forcefully defends Jonathan: “Don’t blame Jonathan for power failure.” He claimed that government efforts were being sabotaged by politicians who sponsor vandals to attack gas pipelines.

He has never shown any signs of being a serious or thoughtful or earnest guy. He’s a degenerate rodeo clown – a toxic provocateur. He should be kept far away from civilization. Making case for the ineptitude of Jonathan, Okupe compares Jonathan with Jesus Christ. “There is no offense to compare ourselves with our Lord. People do not understand the burden this president is bearing. He’s like Jesus Christ. He’s bearing the burden of everybody.”

To describe Okupe’s lies and propagandas as dishonest and demagogic would be equal to promoting it to the level of respectability. To regard Okupe’s pieces of craps would be to run the risk of a discourse that would never again rise above the excremental.

Fuming from both sides of his mouth, he threatens social critics who dare criticize Emperor Jonathan. “Insult President Jonathan to your peril,” the oracle warns. “Social critics who insults President Jonathan henceforth by calling him drunkard, clueless, etc., would risk being punished by the Federal Government,”

He crudely disguises his lies as an exercise in seriousness. Fact is, it’s a sinister exercise in moral frivolity. Okupe exhibits a spectacle of abject political cowardice portraying himself with dissenting bravery. Looking at his crystal ball for the 2015 presidential elections, he predicts landslide victory for Jonathan: “The choice in this election is crystal clear, it is either good luck or bad luck. This Goodluck Jonathan is the very best that we have seen … it’s impossible for Jonathan to lose election.”

Okupe as a liar and propagandist, he whips up emotion and excitement directly by violent exaggeration and by manufactured lies. He relies on symbol and sentiment, he strives continually to paralyze critical analysis and stimulate all tendencies to thoughtless and slavish acceptance. Evaluating Jonathan’s 4-year presidency, he said: “The best since 1960. Those who call GEJ clueless are biased or uninformed. He has achieved more than any president in Nigeria history.”

Like Hitler, Okupe believes the “intelligence of the masses (Nigerian people) is small,” and their forgetfulness is great.” His enemies are the Nigerian people. His goal is to annihilate them. The whole basis of his lies and propaganda is based on the fallacy of ascent – essentially fabrication inflation. On the economy: “… The Jonathan administration has courageously and innovatively been tackling with measurable, obvious and clearly tangible positive results in the last two years,” says Okupe.

Okupe represents a fool operating without insight. He attempts to control reality like a magician. His choreographic lies with elaborate stumbles follows the idea of the apotheosis of the absurd. Okupe is nothing. As soon as he starts behaving that he is something, he becomes precarious. No surprise, he cease to be mindful and mistake fantasy for reality.

Okupe is a fool at the center of the great Aso Rock conspiracy to sell poison as cool aid. His thoughts and pronouncements are fallacious, essentially a paranoid construct, one of interpreting reality for what it is not. His blind defense of Jonathan amounts to ultimate paradoxical joke of presenting Jonathan and his administration as the Fool of the future.

Okupe is a man who doesn’t shift his brain into gear before putting his mouth into motion. With his half-baked fantasies and loaded bias, no reflective or informed person can possibly believe his lies. He’s a silly and shady man who does not recognize courage of any sort even when he sees it because he cannot summon it in himself. To him, easy applause in front of credulous audience is everything.

I would like to remind Okupe that propaganda is only meaningful and believable when it can show positive results. Just show us the positive impact of Jonathan’s Transformation Agenda on Nigerians who are unemployed, hungry, sick, homeless, hopeless, and helpless. Show us water flowing from the taps, uninterrupted electricity for just 30 minutes or one hour, etc., etc., etc.

Name names of big time looters in the Jonathan administration including you who escaped justice for stealing N800 million meant for road construction projects which never took place. Reel off list of your colleague thieves jailed for looting our treasury.

Cook up a new story why government of the largest economy in Africa couldn’t pay salaries of federal civil servants for the past three months? Mount the soapbox and face the nation why the Chibok Girls are still in captivity for nearly 300 days? In short, why is everything falling apart in every sector in Nigeria?

Mr. Okupe, a true leader comes from the people and represents the people. He forges the opinion of the broad masses. That is the reality of a true leader. That is the source of his power. He is the personification of public opinion. He doesn’t need a liar or propagandist like you to win the hearts of his people.

Fellow Nigerians, as the race for 2015 shapes up, brace yourselves for more of Okupe’s Rapid Response Rabble (RRR). We can all agree no matter how the RRR is blended, crushed, pureed, cooked, and packaged, it’s all flat-out phony baloney!