Dear Rochas, When Will You See Your Doctor? By Churchill Okonkwo

Nwannem nwoko Rochas, you have been flirting with madness, and it is no longer news that a couple of nuts have gone missing in your head. The news is that madness has started flirting back and your thoughtlessness is now a disability. After a careful observation, I have diagnosed your illness as hubris syndrome associated with power getting into your head and acting as a heady drug that affects your actions. Your hubris syndrome symptom appears as a narcissistic propensity that makes you view Imo State as an arena in which to exercise power and seek glory.

My governor, you have been exhibiting signs of incipient intoxication of power long before you became governor. But the longer you exercised the immense power of governors in Nigeria, the clearer the manifestation of the hubris syndrome. The bad news for Imo citizens is that this syndrome will persist as long as you are their governor. I have, therefore, started monitoring you as a special case of hubristic behavior triggered by the excessive powers of governors in Nigeria.

My governor, in the last six and half years of your administration, there is nothing the people of Imo state can proudly point to as your worthy legacy. Despite all the gara-gara you have been doing with the money of Imo State people, you are still a bird that flew off the earth and landed on an anthill. But in your “crazy vision”, you are not on the ground.

Nwannem nwoko Rochas, when in November 2016, you said that you “find it difficult to sleep now because [you] want to change the entire face of Imo” we held our breath and expected the much-awaited transformation of Igbo land to Dubai of Africa. But then, you stated erecting statues like our forefathers did with Amadioha. You are clearly intoxicated with power my governor and your hubris syndrome is a big threat to the lives of Imo citizens. 

Nwannem nwoko Rochas, you said that your “vision drives [you] crazy.” In your madness, therefore, you dreamed of Owerri filled with statues.  You built a house for an irrelevant and corrupt deity, South Africa’s President Jacob Zuma. But Imo State citizens wonder why you see statues in your dreams and not grandparents suffering and dying because you refused to pay their pensions. How can you be killing cows and feeding the hawks from South Africa while your senior citizens are denied of the chickens they earned? Don’t you think you need a doctor?

Dee Rochas, I know that Aristotle said that “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness”. But when you created the Ministry ‘Happiness and Purpose Fulfillment’ and put you Sister Ogechi, in charge, it was a touch of madness too many and a confirmation that the last nut holding your cerebrum is out.

My governor, your combination of impulsivity and credulity render you unfit to preside over the affairs of a village meeting talk less of a state as intellectually blessed as Imo State. How could your glorification be more important than the lives of public servants in Imo State? That your house is on fire and you are busy erecting statues is another sign that you need to see a doctor.

By your unscientific crazy estimation my governor, 89% of Nigerians are not happy “in the real sense of the word happiness.” This statement of predisposition to be seen in a good light is another clear symptom of hubris syndrome. Nnaa Rochas, pay the civil servants and pensioners and save them from death by starvation.  That’s how to make them happy and fulfilled not the siphoning of Imo State treasury to your sister’s bank account through useless ministry.

My Governor, the psychological havoc you are wreaking now will last long after you are gone. The two greatest things to bequeath to Imo youths are solid foundation and wings, not statues and stupidity. I am not only worried about the damage that your buffoonery and brand will do (has already done) to the kids of Imo state, but your battering of Imo state’s reputation. 

We are making the mistake of assuming that the young ones are not taking notes of your buffoonery called governance. They are observing the buffoonery in a man who once ran for the office of the Nigerian President. For years to come, your buffoonery will still be reminding them of how horrible you are and the terrible state of the Nigerian democracy. These youths are also observing the impotency of Imo adults in the face of your absurdity.

Clearly, the outrage of responsible Imo State citizens and Nigerians are not matching your absurdity. With all these your swaggering buffooneries, all that the Imo People could do was, unfortunately, act like a mad dog barking at a flying bird. We go to social media and curse you out as you reveal the statues lined up. Now, social media have turned all of us into barking dogs without teeth. Ewo! If only men were still men.

My governor, count yourself lucky to be a Nigerian, where the legislative arms of the state governments are virtually nonexistent. The Imo State House of Assembly is in your back pocket and, therefore, incapable of discharging their constitutional responsibility of at least taking you to your doctor. These foxes in your state house of Assembly are too drunk to cut you the mad dog to size. How much alcohol have you been using to bribe them, my governor?

Anger and madness are brothers; I thus do not want Ndi Imo to respond to your madness with anger. Your present swaggering buffoonery will end up being your greatest undoing. Our explicit impotency is not an acceptance of your buffoonery. As you my governor, the root of a poisonous tree continues to decay; you are spreading death to your branches. I trust the good people of Imo state to give you and your associates in APC the Ikedi Ohakim treatment when the time comes.

Understand me My Governor, I like the heart with which you approach politics in Nigeria. I love your unflinching believe in one Nigeria. But, your absurdities and your willingness to do anything that comes from your crazy head no matter the extreme are troubling. My worry is that if Imo state isn’t beyond redemption, then Nigeria isn’t, either.

Nwannem Rochas, stop attacking protesters with police and use the remaining year plus a few months to start reversing the damage you have brought on the psyche of Imo people. If you still refuse, we will wait. We will wait until you are clearly worn down by the humiliating defeat in 2019. Then, depressed, we will gently lead to a doctor.

Finally Nwannem nwoko Rochas, I know that everything I have said here does not make sense. It wouldn’t because when you show the moon to a child, it sees only your finger. Like a bird, I sing not because I have answers, but because I have songs. I sing to see if my lullaby will lead you to sleep and then to your doctor.

Merry Christmas my governor, but just remember that the biggest gift you can give to the good people of Imo State is to pay a visit to your doctor.

From Churchill with love.


You can email Churchill at churchill.okonkwo@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @churchillnnobi.