Atiku, a picture of life in America by Reno Omokri

Two weeks ago, former Vice President Atiku Abubakar intimated me of his planned trip to America and threw me into an ecstatic state. I kept his confidence and did not discuss the trip with anyone, including my former boss.

However, I could hardly contain myself when Adams Oshiomhole, the pint sized garrulous factional chairman of the ruling All Progressive Congress said on Saturday, January 5, 2019 that Nigerians should not vote for Atiku Abubakar because he “can only travel to Dubai”.

Even at the time that the talkative Oshiomhole made that silly statement, it was a lie. Atiku Abubakar had traveled severally to the United Kingdom, where he had met, in my presence, with the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and had spoken at the Royal Institute for International Affairs (AKA Chatham House).

Very sadly, the APC built almost their entire campaign against Atiku on the myth that he could not visit America and now that that myth has been busted, I feel very sorry for the APC.

In an almost knee jerk reaction, a bevy of APC vuvuzelas have come up with different uncoordinated responses. One of them, Zara Gift Onyinye, a member of the APC’s Presidential Committee for the 2019 elections, came up with the ridiculous idea that the visit was fake and the pictures were staged.

Another vuvuzela claimed that the pictures were shot in Ghana!

I understand their pain. The APC’s main campaign tool has just gone up in smoke. I hope they will accept my sympathies. Meanwhile, has their Presidential candidate made up his mind on whether he is the Presidential candidate of the APC or is he still confusing himself with Great Ogboru?

Whoever advised the APC to pin their campaign on such s silly and risky gambit did them a great disservice. Take Festus Keyamo for instance. He would rather use precious campaign opportunities to berate Atiku Abubakar for his supposed inability to visit the United States. Ditto for Alhaji Lai Mohammed and other mouthpieces of the clueless and inept Muhammadu Buhari administration.

So, while Nigerians know Atiku’s plans to get Nigeria working again, they know precious little of Buhari’s plans, if he has any at all.

And the beautiful thing about Atiku Abubakar’s visit to America is that he went to the US Congress and the Capitol (as the building that houses the Senate is called).

I tweeted Atiku Abubakar’s picture as he was received by US Legislators. The picture is a direct blow to Festus Keyamo who had lied to everyone who cared to listen that the US Senate had indicted Atiku Abubakar and was seeking his arrest. Yet, the very same institution that Keyamo says is looking for Atiku Abubakar turned out to be the same body that celebrated him. If I were Keyamo, I would hide my head in shame. But Keyamo has no shame. Stephanie Otobo proved that.

In fact, I heard that they are shamelessly cooking up a new lie to the effect that Atiku Abubakar only visited the US because there is a government shutdown which automatically guarantees that he would not be arrested. Only desperation could lead the APC down that route!

If at all the APC would listen to counsel, I would counsel them to focus their energies on damage controlling the ripple effect of President Muhammadu Buhari’s almost comical appearance on The Candidate Town-hall event, hosted by Kadaria Ahmed and broadcast on the Nigerian Television Authority.

I felt so sorry for the President. He stumbled from question to question, constantly looking to his vice for help to the extent that Miss Ahmed had to quip at Mr. Osinbajo “He can talk for himself!”

The President repeatedly could not comprehend the questions he was asked and even after they had been dumbed down to him by Mr. Osinbajo, he would begin answering the question and then forget what the question was midway into his answer.

But the worst was yet to come. On Wednesday January 16, 2019, the President slumped as he descended a flight of stairs while campaigning in Kogi. Thankfully, the Channels Television camera immediately zoomed away from him to hide his epic fall.

If you thought that was the worst, then you did not bargain for what happened in Warri.

On Thursday the 17th of January, while campaigning in Warri, Delta state, President Buhari handed over the APC’s flag to great Ovedje Ogboru and said “I am handing over this flag of honour to our presidential candidate.”

What!!!

Oh yes, you heard right. Buhari, the Presidential candidate of the APC, confused himself with Great Ogboru.

And when he was corrected, Buhari demoted Ogboru to a “Senatorial candidate”.

And finally, when corrected the last time, Buhari invented a new word by calling Ogboru a “governortorial candidate”.

After watching the video of President Buhari in Delta State, I can only conclude that those who are pushing the man to go for a second term are his worst enemies. The man is clearly tired and retired. Why are they doing this to him? Allow the poor man go #BackToDaura to rest!

The long and short of the matter is that Atiku Abubakar was a picture of life in Washington DC, while Muhammadu Buhari was a picture of lifelessness in Warri!